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20 September 2011 @ 08:09 pm
edited poetry #1 -- Veiled Truth  
A picture holds one
Thousand tales,
For how can one
know the circumstances?

His face is buried in the silken shade
Of her dark hair. Her smile a thin charade:
Her eyes closed to savor or lie?
Does her heart sing with mirth?
Perhaps longing for some worth?

It was late spring or maybe fall;
Vanilla hair or requested love drawls;
A sister, friend or lover--
Maybe all and neither.

A picture is worth a
Thousand tales,
Though none as interesting
as the truth.



I'm still not happy with this poem, even though it's been almost two years since I originally wrote it. Something just isn't working with it... I think it's too vague and short. Thoughts?
 
 
 
Elly: no tea no workyume_mori on September 23rd, 2011 07:31 am (UTC)
I've looked it over (and even rewrote it by hand) and I have to agree! The first one really doesn't belong, and it does take away much of the oomph of the final stanza. So it will be getting cut.

Thank you!